there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize