Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
