Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize