Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
