ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my liver is dry heaving
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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