My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
