I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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