It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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