does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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