I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
