somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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