Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize