I seem to have left my pride at pride
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
