Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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