GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
