Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
