I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we should paint friendship bongs
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