the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
