sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
