they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
