Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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