He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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