If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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