Midget sex pt 2 tonight
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
