I think I died a long time ago.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
