So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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