and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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