had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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