Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
