If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
