friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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