K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
