Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
