I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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