Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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