Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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