i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
