Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize