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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
