It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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