Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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