wat bout pragnant strippers??
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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