i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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