i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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