I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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