To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and she was petting her beer can
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize