Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize