Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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