How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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