What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
