I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Please don't give away my fajitas
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
