i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
