If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
