dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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