OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
