i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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