It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
