You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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