I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
