my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
