windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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