Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
