Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
