I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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