She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
