she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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