How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
